"I JUst ca..n'...t....

When I compare my January 2021 self with myself one year ago, I am amazed at the changes.  I no longer get up and "go to work".  I have become lazy about cooking, and graze throughout the day on whatever is in the cupboard. I also snack on news constantly by checking alerts on my phone. I no longer feel the need to get dressed in the morning before 10 am, and Happy Hour comes earlier and more often. My exercise routine is haphazard at best, despite having close access to a private gym, pool and track. I simply have given up, or gotten out of the habit of doing so much that I did one year ago. Everything has changed due to COVID restrictions, but can we blame the pandemic for everything?  

Recently I was asked to write a book review for the school counselor, who forwarded it to our principal, who included it in her faculty newsletter, which asked teachers to pass it on to their students.  A year ago I would have read the book directly to groups of students sitting at my feet. 

This process of having so much information shared and reshared until it becomes so disconnected from its original meaning, causes me to feel cut off from reality.  I have been moving down underground, where I exist in some dark basement without windows or natural light. 

My life is controlled by apps: Siri suggests when I should set my alarm; I read the news, answer emails and social media on my phone before rising from bed; Google calendar charts my day's events; I would normally use UBER to go shopping, but I can also WhatsApp my house-help to go for me; I pay via electronic transfer on my banking app; and the delivery app brings my evening meal which I watch while streaming a TV show from another app. Technology has enabled me to live without really living. 

I recently visited London without really going into the city. Christmas was spent indoors with family, and New Year's was on TV.  If you asked me, "How was London?" I would have to pass on news of the virus, Brexit and mayhem that I got from the media. But since it is the same media everyone else saw all over the world, what makes me a good source of information? I would be simply resharing something I read or heard. It is no wonder so many strange ideas get circulated on social media, since we have no idea where they came from and how they have been manipulated or distorted in the process. There are already all sorts of these ideas circulating about the storming of the US Capitol. Some state the whole event was a set up by Democrats to make the president look bad. Can we believe anything anymore?

In an effort to get back in touch with reality, I am attempting to turn over a new leaf in 2021.  I will make every effort to reconnect with nature, people, and the simple pleasures of cooking and other hobbies. What is the weather like outside? Maybe I could go outside and see.  Need some information? How about asking a living person instead of messaging a group.  Hungry for comfort food? This means it is time to go shopping for ingredients and experience the pleasure of creating a meal again. Feeling tiered with an aching head? Unplug and connect with nature.