Goodbye Gifts

Our family is leaving Bulgaria and Jon is receiving goodbye gifts from work. There are plaques, awards and framed photos. These are given out at end of the year ceremonies and goodbye parties. They accompany sincere speeches letting him know that he will be missed and that his work here was appreciated. They left him feeling uncomfortable.  Why do we make such a fuss over the people who are leaving and not appreciate those who stay and dedicate themselves to making this place the best it can be.  But we don't. In a "prodigal son" sort of party we celebrate the coming and going of colleagues.

I feel the same way.  Jon and I should be throwing a party to say "thank you" to all those who made our stay here meaningful and memorable. They are those we traveled with, shared a meal with, taught with, fixed our car, shared in our troubles, laughed with and celebrated with.  We should be handing out bottles of good Bulgarian wine and saying, "thank you for the time you took to make our stay here in Bulgaria better, just because..."

I am not receiving the same goodbye gifts because I don't work for the same institution.

But I am still receiving gifts... they may not be presented at parties or ceremonies, but they are so precious to me.  A colleague where I teach English offered to help me with the paper work to sell my car... just because she appreciated my work for the company.  I received a gift inscribed with this message of appreciation... from someone who I haven't talked to in a year.  But we don't forget people who do good things for us, who reach out and touch our lives for the better. True appreciation is shown through lasting memories over time. Most of us who move on, expect to be forgotten, just as we forget much of what we have left behind. But there are some people who I will never forget, no matter how far away I travel, like the sweet person who wrote this message, because the appreciation is sincere and mutual.

When Jon and I left Sofia the first time, over 20 years ago, we had not made many friends here, and many of our memories were painful.  We were robbed three times, the insurance company didn't have the money to reimburse us the value of our stolen car, and I was told that my pregnancy was an inconvenience.  Many would have thought leaving would be a blessing and that we would never come back.

What made the difference, and made our coming back a delight, were the few good people who helped us through our difficulties, and let us know they appreciated the fact that we had come to share three years with them.  We did not expect a send off at the airport and were surprised to see two people come to see us off.  One was our nanny; she loved our son and had given us her wholehearted service in our home despite the fact she had an engineering degree and could have done so much more. She was genuinely sad to see us go.  And the other well-wisher was a young man who had got to know Jon through some karate lessons. I still don't know why he came to the airport, but it must have been to show his appreciation for Jon's friendship. I never saw either of them again, but I will never forget their goodbyes.