To Stay or Go?

 This is a hard post to write.... and it may not make it to publication. I started teaching in the UK in 1987, and have been moving ever since. I have taught in ten American or International schools for sometimes less that a year, up to my longest stint of 8 years. So why keep moving? Why not stay in one job, in one home? There are several reasons:

It began by my tendency to be enamored with traveling and the expat life. Growing up, I admired my teachers' privilege of hopping from one international school to another, traveling the world and earning a living at the same time. I made that my goal, and took off to Brasilia as soon I was offered the job.  Looking back, I am surprised I left the UK.  I loved my job and probably would have been happy making a life for myself in Kent, but a part of me yearned for the international community I grew up in. It made me feel so sophisticated and independent. 

My first move was for better pay, for a better package. International schools vary greatly in what they offer their staff, and I was keen to make enough money to be financially independent and to be able to travel. I could not afford to be treated like a local hire without housing and a dollar based salary.

Then I met the love of my life, who just happened to live in another city and taught in another school. I moved so we could be together, and not have to make the 12 hour bus trip between Belo and Sao Paulo. Even before our marriage, I knew that this post would be short lived.  Jon was as keen as I was to travel and teach in other places, and was happy to have found a partner in crime. 

At this point I realized that a high salary is not always what makes for the best quality of life. Our first position as a couple was great for our bank account, but was definitely a hardship post. Our letters home from those early days in Bulgaria were full of adventurous setbacks that severely tried our capacity to cope in an Easter European nation where no one spoke English, there were shortages of everything, and no infrastructure.  After our first child was born, and we were down to running water only two days a week, we decided we needed an 'easier' place to live.

We were fortunate enough to secure teaching positions in the beautiful city of Rio, and I thought we would stay for many years.  But just when you think you are settled, with 3 kids and a sail boat, you start to yearn for a home of your own. I missed having my own house with my own things, and a quieter life surrounded by family. So we gave up our 'easy' life by the sea to take up residence in Minnesota.

Now Minnesota is cold, and flat, and jobs few and far between; but I loved our simple life in a small town surrounded by fields and the seasons.  I became a housewife and was truly happy for a time. Then financial concerns started to rear their ugly heads.  A teaching salary in the rural midwest just isn't enough for a family of five to live on. We were forced again to look for jobs overseas.

Then came our long stretch of 8 years in Kwajalein.  We were happy and truly settled. We loved our jobs and the children were happy. So why did we again feel the urge to move on?  We became complacent, and suddenly realized that life was passing us by.  There just might be some other school, in a place we have never heard of, that would give us a great opportunity to further our careers and travel some more. And with that goal, we took off to Europe, then Kuwait. Unfortunately neither of these places lived up to our expectations and we sorely regretted our decision to move on from Kwajalein.

There have been times when I have had to move because my job was cut, or altered to something outside my area of expertise.  But most of the time it was my decision to move on, looking for that dream job, that exotic location. At first it was easier to go.... now it has become so much harder to move on than it would be to stay.  I dread the job search, the rejections, the decision making, the packing up and selling possessions, the unsettled feeling of being homeless.

It might be time to call it a day, and put my still unfulfilled dreams to bed. I want to stay...