The Notebook

Last August my employer gave me a notebook to write my goals in for the upcoming school year.  Days later I found out that my goals were being decided for me by a higher power, and they had little to do with learning, and more to do with putting me in my place.
Instead of throwing the notebook away, I tore out the redundant goals and decided to find another use for the notebook.  Nine months later, I now have a notebook where every page is written on and, if you ignore the disappointing cover, has become a testament to how I have spent this time. So my last blog is the sharing of its contents.

 The first pages contain the phone numbers and addresses of all the hotels where I stayed on my road trip around the Balkans.  The photos and blogs of that trip remind me of all that was delightful and humorous, but the hotel info makes me relive the challenges of driving through new cities trying to find my way and a place to park.
Fortunately I was not alone, and my friends are really what made the whole trip possible. Sixteen hotels in over ten countries gave me the confidence to continue on my own.  
The next pages are what I learned from a group of ladies who meet in Sofia to study the Bible and support each other.  The words on the pages echo my gratitude for their wisdom and ongoing care.  We shared more than just coffee and cake together. We shared our lives.

My family is not completely absent from my notebook pages.  I do have the times of parent conferences recorded.  Fortunately there wasn't much need to meet with their teachers this year, other than to thank them for their help.  Next to the conference times is a recipe for Apple Pie. Copied from a website, it is the first of many attempts to improve my cooking skills while using ingredients that I could find locally.  Some where surprisingly popular with my family, like the pumpkin bread... or maybe they just ate it in respect for the amount of time I spent making it. Others were less so, like the Michaelmas Goose and the Wild Rice Soup.  I had to reuse them in another recipe in order to make them more edible.  My recipes for my home-cooked Thanksgiving dinner are right next to my notes on my visit to Sarajevo.  The words "Blood and Honey" right next to the "Cranberry Sauce".

The rest of my notebook is filled with my last blogs, the ones that needed to be written in my head, then written in long hand, and mulled over before publishing.  It became apparent that I now had too much to say, and the rambling needed to be edited, not so much for the reader, but for my own learning.  These last nine months have been all about learning and I do see the irony of using my misguided ex-employer's notebook to record this.   But I learned that when I am faced with empty pages and no topic, then I can be sure to fill them with the most delightful and satisfying lessons.
Eat, Laugh, and Learn  is my first blog started back in September.  The name had to be changed because of problems sharing it on Facebook.  Judging by this first post I have obviously learned a thing or two about blogging as well.

A Letter to Bulgaria

I recently met up with a Bulgarian friend in the bakery.  She knew I would be leaving soon and wanted to say goodbye.  Then she added, "I hope you find nicer people in the next place you go."  I did not know how to react because the assumption was that the people here in Bulgaria were not nice to me.  Nothing could be further from the truth and I have decided to write an honest letter to the country of Bulgaria about the short time I have lived here.  I am a foreigner and I cannot speak for all visitors to this country, neither can I assume that my views and judgments are widely held by the general public here.  I just want Bulgaria to know how I feel about my experience.


Dear Bulgaria,
I am in love with your natural beauty.  Even in winter the snowy mountains and frozen waterfalls in the forests make me stand in awe.  The spring brings such color with fields of poppies, lavender and the roses that grow everywhere.  The fruit trees ripen and fall is not any less colorful.  The vineyards and sunflower fields meet me as I leave the city.  I have little experience of your summer, but know well the street cafes where I can sit and enjoy being in the city.

I may sound like a tour guide, but I do feel like a tourist in this country.  There is so much to see, to taste, and experience.  I have become a photographer, a traveler and an explorer  who has been given the privilege of living in Sofia.  I appreciate the time spent here, and I have become very aware of how I spend my time.  Without a schedule, I am able to plan my day in the most satisfying way.  Sofia is not designed for rushing people.  It is easier to walk in the city than to drive.  The absence of large supermarkets allows me to look for fresh products at the corner markets.  The sidewalk cafes make me wander through them on the way out and back home.  I have learned to cook here by taking time and using local ingredients. I have been able to travel to different countries simply because they are close by.  I can grab my passport, jump in the car and go to... Venice! And I can afford to do all of this without working night and day like a mad man.   I will always treasure this time to reflect and write.

I want to thank you for your honest and transparent approach to life.  I am not distracted by the frills or outward trappings of daily living. Bulgarians are honest about their country's shortcomings but will come to my aid as you would an elderly aunt who just can't hack it on her own. The taxi driver will sometimes simply refuse to take me somewhere because it is honestly not worth his while.  I never worry about being overcharged and if I am lost... well I'm not that far from home.  The police do not ask for a bribe, but simply point out my transgressions with a warning.  They have bigger fish to fry.  And they speak English in a way that puts my language learning to shame.

My pizza delivery service pretty well sums this up.  The pizza always arrives on time, with the order correct.  The young delivery person very probably has an engineering degree, speaks perfect English and seems delighted if I let him keep the change.  He is simply doing his job, not trying to practice his English or get a good tip.  And I understand that, like me, he will probably have to leave this beautiful honest country in order to find a better job.  It is not greed, or blind ambition, it is just life.
And now, as I leave you, I wish you the very best in the future.  I know you will never end up living above your means, or forget your roots.  I hope that more and more tourists will take time to visit, stay a while, and be refreshed by this simple and beautiful country.

Farewell to Greece

Goodbyes are hard.  When it is time to leave, we get caught between anticipation and regret. We may try to skip the leave-taking altogether, and slip away unnoticed, without giving ourselves the opportunity to feel for what we are leaving behind.
My family is saying goodbye to this beautiful part of the world, we don't know for how long. We chose to take the time to fit in one more visit to a place we know we will miss. This is Chalkidiki in northern Greece and Jon and I first drove down here for a visit in 1993, before kids. We later returned with Jake, as a toddler, and started chartering sailboats from here.  Last year we brought our other sons and hoped they would appreciate the beauty as much as we did.

It has always been a quick escape from the things in our daily lives that bog us down.  It seems warmer here, and well worth the 5 hour drive.
The problem is deciding when to leave.  Do we try to get going and beat the traffic, or stay till the last rays of sun are dying?  The sand is warm and the water is blue.  It almost seems to beautiful to leave.
But leave we must.  And I have decided that it is best to leave while the sun is still high in the sky, the water is looking inviting, and the waiters are calling me to eat at their seafront restaurants. Then you leave smiling, with all those pleasant memories still in your mind.  And you have a reason to come back again.  If you wait until the weather changes, the hour gets late and everyone is tired, you leave in a state of tension.

You feel the pull between the need to get home and the regret for all that you didn't accomplish. You drive home angry, and no one makes good decisions when they are angry.
It is the same when deciding to make any move. Leave while things are still going well, when you will be missed, and when you will miss all the good you are leaving behind.  You are leaving for the right reasons then, and it doesn't matter if you don't find your way back... you have the memories for life.

farewell: from the Norwegian "far vell" meaning "travel good". 

Surprised By Joy

 I do not choose to travel alone.  It just happens... my husband works, my friends need to get on with their lives, and my children have told me that if they have a choice, they would rather not. So I found myself exploring places like Barcelona by myself.  It was both frightening and freeing at the same time.  Because I had no one depending on me to make plans, book hotels or provide transport, I felt more comfortable 'winging' it.  I knew nothing of Barcelona before arriving, and felt no pressure to make an itinerary. I could hardly miss what I didn't know.  More importantly, there was more to be surprised by.

"I liked being half educated, you were so much more surprised at everything when you were ignorant." Gerald Durrell 

Imagine my rather confused delight in encountering both the parakeets and Gaudi's unique architecture in the city.  I could hardly wait to find out more.  Although I was traveling alone, I was not really alone.  When I needed to, I could call upon locals, maps and the internet to help me get the whole picture and Spanish experience.
I noted the strangeness that surprised me and followed it up with the joy of uncovering the mystery with new knowledge.

"Naming is to know a thing's function in the cosmos - to name is to solve mystery." Ann Voskamp
Now I can look back and find other mysteries:
1. It is funny that people would ask me for directions along the way.  I barely know where I am going myself.
2. There are gaps in my personal experience that can only be filled by others.
3. Walking leads to looking, and looking leads to walking.
4. Time stands still for me.
5. I am not stuck, I just have to find another mode of transport.
6. I have a guardian angel.
7. There is joy in the unplanned and unexpected.
8. Beauty in art, nature and music will always lift my spirit.
9. There is usually a tale of 'blood' behind the 'honey'.
10. Choosing my own path always brings me back home.

*I am aware that the title is taken from C.S. Lewis' book, "Surprised By Joy" and William Wordsworth's poem. But when I choose words to write, it is not surprising that they come from someone greater.

Time to Wonder

Most of the time we are too preoccupied with living.  Our focus is on one or two people, or ourselves.  But this past year I was given the gift of time, and a chance to wonder.
I am able to look back on my wonderings through my blogs.  And I realize that the writing, and picture taking, is what brought me to the accepting of all those wonderful experiences as gifts.
I experience, I perceive, I name.
LIVE....WONDER...WRITE

This is not a new concept.  I came across this quote from Ann Voskamp's One Thousand Gifts:

"First man's first task is to name, Adam completing creation with his Maker through the act of naming creatures, releasing the land from chaos, from the teeming, indefinable mass.  I am seeing it too, in the journal, the face of the Farmer: Naming offers the gift of recognition."

Now I am looking back on the blogs I wrote over the last 9 months as gifts of recognition.  Here are some of moments I named:
1. Eat, laugh, learn
2. Bulgarian food is comfort food
3. Bumpy beginnings are still beginnings
4. If you let go of expectations you welcome adventure.

5. As a traveler am I a tourist or an explorer?
6. Listening to someone else's story
7. Through memories of family and friends I revisit the past
8. We can celebrate the difficult
9. It is people, not places that define culture
10. Life is worth living with wonder

It took me a long time to get to this place...to wonder and accept these musings as gifts.  I look at my sons who I have willingly, or not, dragged around the world.  May they too learn to wonder, explore and live receiving all that this world has to offer.

Bear Country

This is bear country.  Do you know how I know?  The signs by the side of the road show a bear.  Animal traffic signs usually alert us to look out for an animal on the road.  If you are in the US you don't want to hit a deer, and similarly with cows in Bosnia.  We are not so much worried about the animal, but with the damage to us and our vehicle.

When I saw this sign in Brazil I found myself wanting to slow down, stop the car and make sure I saw a capybara. As well as protecting the large rodent, which for some reason chooses to live in the state capital, the sign also makes them a tourist attraction.

I was confused by the signs for wild boar in Croatia.  There were obviously no boar to be seen near the road.  I was quite disappointed.  What was the population of feral pigs in Croatia? I discovered that it is quite healthy and the numbers are beginning to be a problem for farmers as they damage crops.  This has led to the growth of organized boar hunting for tourists.  I'm not sure if the road signs are predicting the large numbers overrunning the country roads, or if they are advertising the boar to visiting hunters.

The bear signs in northern Greece were equally confusing... and not just because I can't read Greek.  There were times when performing bears traveled this region and they could be seen on the streets of Sofia when I lived here in the 90's.  A reliable witness even spotted one riding a tram downtown.

But no bears have been seen in the wild for many years.  Are the signs warning us of bear attacks?  Or are they warning of a sloth of bears that have taken up residence near the road?  These signs have become a family joke and we entertain ourselves with bear stories as we drive through the beauty of Greece.
In truth, there are only about 150 bears left living in northern Greece, and there is a active concern to save them.  Traditionally they have worried the farmer's livestock and taken their honey.  This is a big honey producing area and bears will destroy the hives to get at the honey.  The farmers could be scaring the bears away, but they are quick to blame the building of all the new highways like the Egnatia Odos completed in 2009.  The road company quickly covered themselves by putting up the bear signs.  Motorists are now responsible if they hit a bear.

So now I know that the signs are a joke.  The highways are destroying the bears natural habitat and shrinking their homeland. The signs on the highway draw attention to the disappearing animal, seldom seen because of the diminishing numbers.  Motorists needn't slow down because there are no bears left to run into.  Once the road was built, the problem can't be fixed with a sign.

Lessons Learned From a Greek Ferry

I am not travel stupid.  Experience has taught me that a little planning ahead can make the difference between an enjoyable trip and a travel nightmare.  But you can't control every outcome, especially if you are going off season.
We had decided to drive to a Greek island and all I was able to do in preparation was to book a hotel, have Google-maps suggest a route and make sure I had some euros cash.  We set off without being sure of the availability of car ferries, of the weather or if the Greek truck drivers would cooperate in keeping the borders open.  None of that information was available to me.  I had tried online  research and 'tripadvisor'.  One post stated sarcastically,

"Why are you asking? You have been to Greece before, you obviously know how it works!"  I had been to Greece by car many times before, and I did know how unpredictable the service was there.  Why was I asking? I was hoping that this time I would be able to control each detail to conjure up the perfect holiday free from travel hassles and weather worries.  Good luck!
This is what I learned from the Greek island ferries:
1. The weather can turn from pouring rain that floods the streets and darkens the skies to brilliant warm sunshine in a matter of minutes.  Just take a seat out of the rain and wait it out.

2. The ferry men take their job very seriously.  Don't try to fight them for they are in control.  They somehow pack an endless number of cars, trucks and motorcycles into a limited space by expertly directing each driver to park the car in the smallest parking space available.  There are no accidental dings or scrapes on their watch.
3. And finally, the ferries are magic. This is how I know. We arrived at the port and bought our tickets with plenty of time to spare.  We joined what looked like some other passengers waiting on the dock.  When the boarding began an employee began directing traffic.  We were told to wait while he beckoned other vehicles into the belly of the ship.  We watched what must have been at least a hundred cars drive on in front of us.  Buses unloaded passengers and bikes slipped on board.  The car in front of us decided he had waited long enough.  As he inched forward trying to cut in, the ferry worker told him in no uncertain terms to wait.  A shouting match developed but it got us no further to boarding the ship.  They began letting trucks on next.  At this point I realized that we might not make it. The next ferry was in 3 hours. I felt panic rising and was ready to get out and yell at the ferry man, "It's our turn, we have been waiting! Let us on while there is still room." But he was in no mood to be nice and things did not look good for us.
Finally, when no other cars could be found waiting to board, we were waved on.  As a passenger I left the car and entered the hold of the ship.  By some miracle the whole inside was empty of cars.  I could see the trucks parked to one side but the large cavernous space the size of a gymnasium was virtually empty.  Where had they put the cars that boarded before us? I felt so foolish for worrying that there wouldn't be room for our one car. Obviously this is some magic ferry that can hold any number of vehicles and people.

There was so much I couldn't control, from the wind direction to the hotel WiFi.  I had to accept this and believe in the magic.
Although the weather was overcast and cool, the sun came out at just the right moments to make our pictures look beautiful.  The "not so good" hotel we reserved online never received our booking.  The winding track of a road that made us feel hopelessly lost brought us out exactly where we wanted to be, even if we weren't sure where on a map.  The Greek truckers never got around to closing the border and this trip turned out to be memorable for the lessons well learned.

Beneath the Earth and Around the Corner

I have a walk I do almost everyday.  It is my way to work, to shop and to the nearest metro.  I'm fortunate as it takes me down my favorite street lined with coffee shops and stately embassies, and through my favorite park where I am currently waiting for the roses and lavender to bloom.
However, a new grocery store just opened in my neighborhood.  It has wide aisles, all the products I need and the crowds haven't found it yet.  So I've been taking a different route round the back of the park and down a side street.  This takes me by the sidewalk display of the corner flower shop.  They sell lemon and kumquat trees among their other blooms.

Now that I am taking notice of my somewhat new surroundings I look back at the park.  Viewing it from this angle I see that the back side is really a display of roman ruins dug up in 2002 when the Sofia subway was being built.  These pieces of history date back to the 2nd century AD and to the Roman city of Serdica on top of which Sofia lies today.  I normally don't notice these ancient monuments to days gone by because they are so much a part of the park.  Children play on them, draw on them, and they are used by picnickers as tables and benches.

But today the park is empty because of the rain and these relics silently remind me that they have always been there.

Security experts advise us to vary our routes so as to thwart terrorists.  Apparently we are less of a target if we are unpredictable.  But varying my walking path is less about my personal security and more about my mental health.  And it is about taking the time to look at things from different angles.

When visiting a beautiful building or grounds we need to wander around and look: down at what we are stepping on; up to what towers above; back at where we have just come from; and from the other side of the wall.
When visiting the breath taking monasteries in northern Greece recently, my favorite view was from inside the sturdy dark walls looking out... at the natural beauty just waiting for me to notice that it has always been there.

The UFO, the Underworld and the Unexpected

Soon after moving to Bulgaria we set out to explore the country and our first stop was Plovdiv Old Town.  We were lucky enough to stay at a great hostel with creaky floorboards and Roman ruins in the dining room.  And we met other travelers who were happy to share their recent experiences and show their photos.  The hotel owner had suggested some tombs and museums for us to visit, but these travelers had something far more interesting. They had stumbled upon an old abandoned relic from early communism that resembled a UFO both inside and out.

We just had to see it for ourselves, even though the directions were a little sketchy.  It had recently snowed and the road up the mountain was covered in drifts. We put the car into 4 wheel drive and continued up.  The place was closed up, locked and definitely not open to visitors. We walked all around looking for a way in and enjoying the view.  Finally finding a broken window that was low enough, we scrambled through.  The missing roof tiles and the snow combined to make the place look other-worldly.  What a find... even if we did have to break in.

On our recent visit to Corfu we were driving around the north end of the island when we saw a sign to "Old  Peritheia" and decided on a whim to check it out. It turned out to be an excellent choice and we thoroughly enjoyed the drive up the mountain side and stopped to sample the local wine in the old village.  Another traveler asked us if we had visited the cave yet.  "Oh, you must go! It's like entering the underworld," was the way he described it.  How could we pass this up?
Again the directions were sketchy and we were surprised to find a path at the end of the track that said NO BIKES. We headed down through the trees into a hidden ravine.

The cave opened up at the bottom like a large mouth ready to swallow us.  The birds were nesting in the rock walls, and the whole place was lush with trees, creepers and flowers.  It wasn't the biggest cave and not very deep, but we felt like we had found something unexpected! By following the overgrown path at the end of the road, we had entered another world far from the Greek island of Corfu.
So when another traveler excitedly tells you of that unexpected place he just found, get directions and follow them.