Playing With Tradition

The Jahnkes have been congregating on July 4th at Crick and Anna's lake home for 40 years. Children have become parents and parents are now grandparents. It is never the same group. Each year there is a new addition, and there are family members who are there now only in memories. The definition of life is change: new births and new pets, then divorce and new boyfriends,  changes in jobs and health... yet the tradition of the family get together remains the same year after year.

We don't meet there every year because it is easy and harmonious. First there is the problem of where everyone will stay. The family has outgrown the house inherited by the city cousins. So the country cousins bring and set up their campers and tents. The set up is always an ordeal as we position and re position each trailer amid curses from the swarms of mosquitoes and missing electrical cords.
Then there is the problem of the dogs brought by, funnily enough, the city cousins. Five dogs are let loose to run around with the neighbor's two. That would be the neighbor to the south. The neighbor to the north does not approve of our dogs and is likely to call the police if they are found doing their business on his lawn. So that leads to the constant inquiry, "Has anyone seen my dog?" and "Why doesn't so-and-so watch their dog?" Yet the dogs have free roam. They are in and out of the house, in and out of the water and in and out of the neighbor's yard.
As the children grow up their toys change, get bigger and need constant attention. There are six different boats that all have to be hauled out of the water, cleaned and stored. The motors are constantly being worked on and each day they are driven to town to be gassed up.

 'Old Blue' makes it out on the water every year and has outlasted all others. She pulls tiny tubers, first time boarders and veteran skiers. Every year there is talk of replacing her, but someone always finds a way to keep her afloat.  Old Blue keeps being a part of the tradition of the 4th because she provides something that everyone and all ages can enjoy.
And that is the key to maintaining tradition. Traditions only survive as long as they provide meaning and purpose, in different ways, to all those who partake.

I pondered this while playing a game of marbles on Anna and Crick's old deck. I believe this game is as old as the house, and was one of Anna's favorites, not because it is challenging, but because it is engaging. Anyone can play at any age and at any level. Newcomers can beat old-hats. Stepsons can beat grandparents. Just roll the dice and off you go. The deck itself is old and needs to be replaced. It still stands because it provides a place for each of us to be individuals, yet part of a family. It is a quiet spot for that first cup of coffee with the best view on the lake. It has been used to grill up the bacon and eggs for breakfast.

Grandparents can sit up there and watch the children play on the grass below, or water-ski by.  It is where the mothers sit for an afternoon glass of wine while their children nap or go fishing. A 'child-gate' has been added to keep out the dogs (no ones cares if its kept shut), and a new sliding screen door has been installed (not well received), but the old deck still stands with its decaying and unsafe boards, to carry on the various activities of the individuals in the group.
The holiday itself adapts to allow for individual differences.

We no longer shoot off fireworks due to the neighbor-to-the-north's slightly singed boat cover. We no longer try to keep track of each family member's arrival and departure. People come and go according their own schedules, bringing whoever they can with them. We play musical beds in order to accommodate 35 people over a period of 7 days. If the weather turns bad there are people in the furnace room, garage and on the living room floor. We no longer try to feed everyone the traditional barbecue as many are now vegetarians. The steaks have been replaced by grilled corn and outings to the farmer's market for new ingredients. The refrigerator is always full and people help themselves.

Fourth of July at the lake is always full of food, activities, people and animals. And the family welcomes all who come with the freedom to choose how you want to spend your holiday.  We usually end up choosing to spend it together... that is the power of the freedom of choice.