Politely Caged

I have been traveling between Brazil and England for years, these countries are my nationality.  I present my Brazilian passport when entering the Brazil, and my British one on the return to England.  I am quite familiar with both cultures and rarely take the time to compare the two, probably because they are so obviously different.
Politeness, however, seems to be a common trend.  I was able to witness a polite interchange between a Brazilian spinster and her elderly British guest at breakfast.  The episode seemed to be good material for a comedy routine, with neither lady giving an inch of their duties as polite host and polite guest.
The spinster aunt waited patiently for her guest to wake up.  There was no reason to rise early but the older lady apologized anyway for being late to breakfast. They sat down and inquired into how each other had slept.  No one made a move to serve themselves or start eating.  Their politeness was causing an impasse. The hostess, being Brazilian, was politely waiting for her guest to serve herself first.  She encouraged this with a comprehensive description of the spread.  There was bread and cheese, cake, papaya, coffee and hot milk.
"Please help yourself...  Would you like milk in your coffee?" The guest, being British, was waiting for the other to take the lead.  She would politely have milk if her hostess poured it, and pick up her fork to eat only when given the green light. The hostess always takes the lead and lets her guests know what is appropriate.  So the breakfast progressed slowly:
"Have you had some cheese?"
"After you."
"Wouldn't you like some?"
"A little, if you insist, but help yourself first."
"Maybe later..."
"Something else then?"
Throughout the asking, passing, and polite refusals, there was the need to keep up a continual stream of small talk. A lull in the conversation was uncomfortable so they made safe comments about relatives health and the cost of food.  The hostess explained that the coffee was made unsweetened because she was worried about diabetes.  Her guest agreed that sugar was "bad for you", and then proceeded to spoon it onto her food as well as into her coffee.  It was possible to agree without really agreeing.

The breakfast threatened to go on forever as the two ladies politely ate food they didn't want or waited for the appropriate moment to be served what they secretly wanted. The British guest waited until her hot milk was cold before politely suggesting there might be a little coffee left in the pot.  They were both coping quite well with what was an uncomfortable situation.
Then suddenly the Brazilian lady asked for forgiveness for needing to leave. "Have you been served enough?" Her guest assured her that she had plenty and excused her host from her breakfast duties. Then I realized that, by leaving the table, the hostess was giving her guest the freedom to choose what she wanted to eat, when she wanted and how much.  She was letting her out of her confining duties of being a guest.