Erasing a Birthright

 Not long ago, I read a book: Crying in Hmart (Michelle Zauner) with my book club. It is not the genre I would typically read, but it certainly made me realize that not all of us are easily classified as one nationality. The author mourns her Korean mother and realizes that she no longer has any obvious ties to Korea.  At the same time I was watching my mother near the end of her life in the UK. For years she had been my main tie to a country that issues me with a passport.  I have lived there fewer than 10 years and don't even speak with a British accent. However, my family roots are there, I have family there, and I have visited the UK throughout my life... if not only to renew my passport. 

My mother passed away and the family are in the process of selling her home. That means sorting and disposing of generations of possessions and memories; but it also means separating from the home where my immediate family used to congregate. We spent Christmases together and summer holidays. Grandchildren and children could always find a place to stay when visiting London. The home was a place for gathering, celebrations... and a haven in times of need. Personally, I always relied on having a safe haven in uncertain times. Now that will be gone.

When selling a family home, one puts to rest all the memories connected to times spent over the years with family; but with me it means more. Now I will no longer have a reason to visit England. Now I will no longer regularly visit with my brothers.  Now I will no longer have an excuse to visit the country or my heritage. 

We all grow older... we move on.  I have moved more than most and carved out a home for my children in Minnesota.  That is my future and I do not regret that. However, I just want someone to give me one reason to spend more time in the area round my mother's home. I am not ready to give it up just yet.